3:31am

Bill Evans is playing in the background again. Same song as the last post I wrote a few days ago.

Day was long yesterday due to a project at work. Project went to shit. Completion of said project will be at a later date.

Perhaps because I’m unfortunately curious and wish to fill my spirit with jealously, I tend to look up the salaries of people who tend to fuck up the most. When you see those individuals make more money than you, you tend to wonder why the roles aren’t reversed.

Being the other guy can be as bad, if not worse than NOT being the other guy.

If I already have issues with starving myself mentally by constantly giving, a position with a higher salary would present the exact same issue. That tend leads to another question; what is important to me and what do I want to do?

At this very moment I couldn’t tell you the answer to either question. I never liked to plan ahead and generally would just go where the wind takes me. I probably should have a plan as the wind seems to slam me into a brick wall, a mailbox, a tree, etc.

I want to buy a typewriter. I’m gonna go look at some.

Bill Evans – “Easy Living”

I struggled with what I wanted to write for my first post. Then, like some kind of ready-made stereotype about writers, I played Bill Evans’s take on Easy Living. A jazz standard that has existed since the late 30s, I came to know the Bill Evans version through Jerrod Carmichael’s “Rothaniel” special that aired on HBO recently.

I visited New York City for my birthday in 2019 and generally felt as small and ant-like as Jerrod appears in the opening minutes of the special as he heads towards New York City’s Blue Note Jazz Club where the rest of the special takes place. Watching this either on my computer or on my TV, I somehow want to go again as if I didn’t understand it the first time due to the usual anxiety I have. All the usual bombastic musical fare (ala Fame) that centers around New York City seems more squared for a younger audience that needs to be seen.

Although a cover, the Bill Evans version of Easy Living was put together for the adult who went from wanting to be the center of attention in their youth to simply being a mere character in the bigger stage play of everyday life.